Most of the interventions that I recommend come from my almost 30 years of clinical practice. A few come from personal life experience. Sleep is one of those that I can speak for myself. Particularly falling asleep. I can remember as a young teenager being frustrated, cranky, and in tears at 2 or 3 am because I could not fall asleep. This short article comes from both my clinical experience and my personal life. I know what its like to not fall asleep easily!
While the reasons one does not fall asleep easily may be diverse, basically it titrates to a few common scenarios. The first involves stress and anxiety. This one can go either way. Sometimes the body’s reaction to stress is exhaustion and hypersomnia (lots of sleep). Other times, the mental accelerations that characterize anxiety make it very difficult to fall asleep. This is when a person lays there rehearsing the day, trying to organize tomorrow, wondering where the money is coming from for the bills and wondering how Aunt Lucy on his mother’s side twice removed is doing! Everything is a mental spin and falling asleep entwines with the anxiety in such a way that keeps the systems going and the eyes open!
The second scenario is a bit more insidious. This scenario occurs when someone experiences chronic difficulties falling asleep. No particular stressors. No particular problems. The bills are paid and life deals no more than its usual cards in your direction.
Finally, a third scenario is common in ADHD children and is related more to biological factors. ADHD children (and adults) are noted for their fitful, restless sleep as if they are in some sort of WFC bout with the bed!
No matter the causes, there are a few simple solutions for sleep problems. Here they are:
1. Take a page from the Jungle Book. Disney’s animated movie, The Jungle Book, featured a wildly funny bear singing a song that had a line something to the effect of “forget about your troubles and you cares”. When you lay down at night, consciously lay your concerns on the floor beside you. Literally! Write them down on a sheet of paper and place them on the floor. Whenever you start to think about them remind yourself that your concerns and problems are on the floor where you can pick them up in the morning and tell yourself “I just can’t think about that right now!” If it is your child having difficulty falling asleep, go into their room and read them a bedtime story or give them a chance to vent their concerns. Do the same thing with their problems, writing them on a piece of paper and then leave the room with the piece of paper. Remind them that they can have the paper in the morning but in the meantime, they are not allowed to think about such things. This is powerful modeling that will follow your child for life.
2. Make the room as dark as possible. Many times we try to fall sleep using such things as late night TV, hall lights, etc. This actually works against your body’s natural sleep mechanisms. The same brain structure that is responsible for releasing substances in your brain that signal feelings of tiredness and sleep also works off light. It is called the Pineal gland and it releases melatonin. However, the Pineal gland also responds to light in an activating way and the bottom line is, light trumps melatonin! You won’t fall asleep if you’re thinking you’ll just watch the TV until you get sleepy. That may take a while. Note: if your child is afraid of the dark, lay down on the floor next to his/her bed and tell them a story. Make something up or tell them about when you were a kid. Kids love the time, get to know you better and it provides some time for the Pineal gland to kick in!
3. Use a MELATONIN supplement. I’ve already discussed the actions in the brain and the importance of Melatonin. It is what makes you fall asleep. Some brains have more than others. Babies and teens often have lots of melatonin. Elderly, ADHD brains and stressed out types generally have less. I prefer a liquid form of Melatonin such as the one marketed by Biometics (Order from www.mindofhope.com). It is micellized, goes easily under the tongue via a dropper provided with your order, has much higher absorption rates and since it is taken sublingually the absorption is much faster. It is an inexpensive way to enhance your ability to fall asleep. In my own case, I struggle tremendously to fall asleep without it!
One final note about Melatonin. Contrary to folklore, it is safe with children*. I discuss safety issues thoroughly in my book, Turbo Charged Childhood, on page 97.
